Makeup face facadé

I browsed upon some pretty girls on Facebook, envying their slim and smooth egged shape looking face, accompanied sweetly with a skinny and eye seeking figure. Oh how I want to be like one of them. Feelings emerged;feelings of mimicking their thinly brushed eyeliner and thick slab of makeup. Feelings of going on a diet and becoming obsessed with the bones and skeletons to be a part of my skin. And this war was battling back and forth. Will makeup make me prettier on the inside? Will becoming skinny make me happy forever.
And the answer is NO.
I remembered about the mission trip that i embarked on last dec. I clearly remembered the youth section about having an identity in Christ. We featured a short film about Eli and his creation. What stood out the most was the fact that when Punchinello( a boy who keeps getting ugly spots that are stuck on him because he is less perfect, shorter, not as bright as the others) came to Eli ,his creator -and asked him why he was created this way, and why did a girl whom was as imperfect as he was did not have any labels on her. It Was only then that he realised that His identity is and has always been in Christ. Slowly by slowly, he became as clean as ever because any labels nor negative spots could ever get to him again. This story truly reminds me that I don't have to put on makeup, don't Have to be like others. all I NEED to do, is be myself and always be rooted in God's image. :)
You don't have to be pretty or perfect for God to love you. Because you are beautifully and carefully made by God, your creator:)

A contract

If only I knew that love is a contract...
This invisible line that requests for one's signature to be imprinted, after having tasted the sweetness of the trial period. Many would have just signed it without hesitation, without even seeing the terms and conditions of this so called contract.
Had I known that Love required so many conditions attached, would I still have chosen to love?

It's been difficult for this couple of days, where I felt isolated, lonely and upset at the thought of you only being able to whatsapp for 10-20 mins a day. I sigh at my hopelessness. I didn't know that when I entered into this relationship, this was one of the biggest conditions involved;that robbed me of my time, energy and even my lifestyle. Was this one of the terms that was stated in the contract? I now ponder upon whether I would have still knowingly stamped that contract.
Would I?
No doubt this has helped me grow a lot, and learnt to be independent. But when I first got into this relationship, nobody warned me of such a sacrifice and the foreboding of what lies ahead- Which is this.

In response to that answer, I spent one and a half days brooding on that and I was reminded that God loved me with or without a contract. No matter what I was, what I did, and how much I've let Him down, He still loved me. To God, there was no such thing as a love contact. To God, the love is, was and will forever be unconditional. And that is something I want to emulate and integrate into my life. Thanks for that revelation, God❤

Wavering

It's the 3rd day today since you were gone. It's hard to just receive whatsapps worth of 10 mins per day. But I'm getting used to it. I've just been plopping at home and watching tv. But everything reminds me of the times I had w you; walking/running to 73 bs, taking 73,going to pow sing, taking the Mrt, getting kiap. I miss those times! I wonder whether theres other stuff we haven't done or gone to yet. Ttyl. Bsf time:)

The fear of losing

As I mentioned yesterday, ba and I met up yest to go shopping and eating!:)It was loads of fun.:) We headed to Ion to find stuff to eat! We were contemplating on either four fingers chicken or the authentic shilin chicken! Haha and so He decided on the authentic shilin chick which was actually surprisingly good.:) hehe:) After that we walked over to 313 to go shopping! The walk was horrendously long and hot despite the mild drizzle. This is proof of the heat and humidity here in Singapore. but anyway we took a stroll down to 313. We went to have Marché first for our rest of our lunch, where ba and I shared the tomato basil grattin and Rosti! Yumm!:) hehe then we headed to forever 21, cause I wanted to buy the denim shirt that I wanted 2 weeks back. Sadly it was gone!:( I was quite sad when I left,but still baba was so sweet to bring me to orchard central to get OPI nail polishes. He bought me two colours: Nude(China Glaze) and Turquoise(Opi) :) hee and then when I had to buy something for my mum for mother's day! So I got her an OPI pink glitter polish! Whoots!:) hehehe I can steal from her too!:) Following that, we went to Prologue bookshop to look 'see'. There were so many pretty stationaries and then we headed to the children's book section, where Ryan kept singing the childhood songs from the books and he tried to destroy the mr rainbow fish puppet from the pop out book. Hehe:) I really enjoyed those times. We browsed through Smurf and children assessment books, which we wanted to buy and keep it for the future. sadly, baba had his commitments at Home and had to go home to accompany mummy, and our date was cut short. Oh well. We had a really fun date still and it brought back many fun and beautiful mems when we were first Tgt. Simple dates but extremely lovely.

I met Ba to buy lunch today even though I didn't actually get lunch in the end cause I was full from Breakfast. We met opposite and sat down at the void deck beside to talk. I was feeling quite sad, holding back my tears and sadness because I knew that It was the last time I would see him before He flies off tonight. So as much as I could, I placed those thoughts aside and spend time w him. however, when it was time to leave, I burst out in tears and the first thing that rushed through my head was the fear of losing him. Losing the companionship of him, losing the familiarity and closeness w him, losing the ability to communicate w him over the phone because He would be away in Germany. But he started to calm me down and prayed for me, which worked. The time was then, we Hugged and we kissed, that was the last time that we gazed into each other's eyes before we shall meet again 22 days from today.I will truly miss you
, miss having someone to share my most innermost feelings and thoughts. I'll miss you.

Memoirs of the night

The night is early, yet filled with sorrows

I had an enjoyable time with baba today where I have finally finished my exams and ba has a day off before he flies off. I honestly miss the times and memory we spent together. I realized that though our time we spent was really short but it was the honeymoon period once again. :) I'll catch up on it more tomorrow.
You're leaving for Germany tomorrow evening...